Two New Ways To Eat (Pics Inside)
September 16, 2007 by Lauren
Or at least two modified ways to eat. There's a pair of new 'gadgets' on the market that aren't particularly important enough to get separate posts, but I'm happy to bring them both to you here for your viewing pleasure.
For the first, you can now eat like a truly wasteful rich person while staying within your budget. Well, staying within your budget if your budget includes $40 for two sets of five chopsticks, anyway. These chopsticks serve the purpose of feeding you, making your food sparkle, and increasing your meal's net worth. Just how do they accomplish all of these crucial tasks (no sarcasm there, sincerely)? Tucked in between the chopsticks are little [mostly] gold flakes. So when you crack these babies apart, the golden confetti rains down upon the TV dinner for which you settled in order to afford the golden chopstick meal enhancers in the first place. Ah, what a life. 
The other utensil modification makes a little more sense, while still amusing all the same. Ever see bare silverware sitting on a bare table? The silverware that you are supposed to eat with? Preposterous! Nay, instead we shall invent silverware that sits on its side via built-in stands. Assuming no one knocks it over, you can rest assured that the silverware touches no surface other than your own [germ-infested] pallet. Tasty.
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